I gave her my ring, she gave me a piece of paper!

My ring is roughly 1.5 years old. Mr. Yankee purchased it in its completed form in November, 2008 and proposed in December. Making it fairly young in terms of jewelry life. So imagine my surprise as, when we were watching 'The Skulls' from our Netflix list I noticed what felt like a hard scratch on my ring only to notice that the scratch was not just a scratch. It was cracked the whole way through.

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Now my ring isn't as bad as the one pictured above, but you can definitely pull the ring apart if you so desired. At first I didn't know what to think. My mind went blank in a state of shock. This wasn't something that Mr. Yankee created in a back office on his spare time. This was a Tacori brand setting done by professional jewelers. So how, I was wondering, did this happen?! I do not work in any industry that requires banging of my hands against any hard materials. Quite the opposite- I work in a office with soft things like paper. I think the worst that has ever happened to my ring was the diamond getting caught in between a drawer. If anything I baby my e-ring. It is very special to me and I love it so. I keep it with me everywhere I go and take it off only when I shower or wash my hands. And while I was figuring out how this happened, I started to go into a mild rage. "How DARE they sell this to Mr. Yankee! He paid good money for this beautiful piece of jewelry."

As I tried to wrap my mind around what was happening, Mr. Y just shrugged his shoulders and simply said, "Well, white gold is a weak metal. All they have to do is sauter it back together. It shouldn't cost too much." With that my head snapped up and I nearly shouted, "It shouldn't cost anything! You just bought this thing! White gold isnt THAT weak." But Mr. Yankee being the calm fellow he is simply shrugged his shoulders, giggled to himself and continued to watch the movie. Meanwhile I sat fuming, unable to focus on anything other than my ring. I knew it was going to have to be shipped off to be repaired and I was dreading the upcoming absence. I had never been away from my ring- I was lucky Mr. Yankee guessed the right size and it never had to be adjusted. Now I was going to have to be without it for undisclosed amount of time.

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This morning I went into the store where Mr. Yankee purchased my ring and explained the situation. The manager of the store assured me that Tacori stands behind their brand and that they will take care of the crack at no charge. She couldn't, however, give me a time frame for when my ring will be back. I gave her my ring and she gave me a piece of a paper. Needless to say, it was a hard task to walk away from my beautiful ring and it made appreciate the piece of jewelry all the more. But I will survive. With a naked finger.

Any brides out there have to temporarily give up their ring? How did you survive?

"She worked for ILM? She's in!" Or how we got the bestest photographer. EVER.

You've read about my non-compromising view on wedding photography. Are you ready to know how we picked the one responsible for capturing the special moments on film officially?! Good- here it comes!

My photography evolution was a little painful, but completely worth it. When Mr. Yankee and I originally got engaged, I had a set person in mind to be my photographer. I had worked with her before on personal portraits and remembered her professionalism, upbeat attitude and work ethic. To me, she was a no brainer; and then I started looking at her wedding photography. A word to all photo vendors out there- please make sure you put your absolute best work out there for the public to view. Because when I looked over the wedding photos she had on her website I was disappointed. Was this what I was to expect when it came time for my wedding?! I shuddered at the thought, threw out the idea of her being our photographer and started from scratch.

After weeks of website stalking, blog reading and packing my favorites folder to capacity, I had narrowed down my choices in photographers. I had what I called the "holy trinity" of potential wedding day Ansel Adams' on my list and made the appropriate connections. Of the three that I sent out, I got two responses. The first to respond was Dorothy; and there was ultimate clickage (yeah, I just made up a word- sue me). Not only was she super friendly talking to me while I was my way home from work, but she was engaging, sweet and had great antecdotes to get my mind thinking of this whole party called "wedding." I know that there are hundreds of talented photographers out there that could do an amazing job, but I firmly believe that you have to 'click' with your photographer (no pun intended). We set a time for a follow up call and I excitedly went to Mr. Y to tell him all about this fabulous woman.

As soon as I got home I reached for my lap top, clicked on the favorites folder marked 'photo love' and showed Mr. Yankee Dorothy's websited. "Wouldn't she be the absolute bestest photographer in the world? Look at her use of light. The soft focus of each moment. Swoon!" But Mr. Y was even tempered and very PC about the whole thing; as long as it made me happy. You see, Mr. Yankee and I differ on the view of photography. Every website I went to was different and new. I would show him web page after web page asking for his opinion. His response? "They all look the same. It's just photography." Yeah, I know- "HUH?!" But forgive him- he is but a boy! Mr. Yankee didn't even fully engage in the conversation until I mentioned Dorothy's previous place of employment- Industrial Light & Magic.


"ILM? She worked for ILM?"
"Yes."
"If she can get me a job at ILM, she's hired."
"She doesn't work there anymore, honey."
"Dammit."

Mr. Y has a thing for George Lucas and was super excited to potentially be working with him by proxy. I was just excited that he was paying attention to details! And so we set off on our meeting with Dorothy- at a local Starbucks- to discuss details and prices.

And it only got better once we had our first meeting! Professional, communicative, refreshing, humble and overall awesome are just a few of the adjectives I would use to describe the utter greatness that is Dorothy Hatchel. As soon as we left our meeting, I told Mr. Y that we absolutely, positively had to go with her. She just *got* me. And even more important- she was willing to work with me and my budget. She provided alternatives instead of just saying no and when I shared an idea I was having, she embraced it. I just cannot say enough positive things about her. Oh- and her photography abilities?! Just absolutely PHENOMENAL!!! I'll let her work speak for itself....

*all photos courtesy of Dorothy Hatchel Photography*

I'll take an extra large Jay Z, with a side of Dave Matthews Band, please.

Music is a big part of weddings. No, let me restate the obvious here and say that music is a HUGE part of weddings. You have so many key moments in a wedding for the "right" tone to be set via music. The pressure is on, man! String quartet for the ceremony? Band for the reception? DJ for the after party? I think I might have overdosed on Platinum Weddings this weekend...

Anyway, my point is that music for our wedding is no different. Except for that when it comes to music, Mr. Yankee and I are completely different. The only thing we have agreed on was that we would get a DJ for the whole event instead of a band. After that, it has been battle after battle.

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Take our ceremony music, for example. Mr. Yankee likes the traditional Canon, I like Bach (or even better- the instrumental version of "So This Is Love" from Disney's 'Sleeping Beauty'!); he wants to walk down the aisle to some of the old favorites, while I want to mix it up. I'd love to have an instrumental version of a contemporary pop song ('Ordinary People' by John Legend, for example) be what our wedding party marches down to, but Mr. Yankee loves his Canon in D. I want the Rocky Theme played after our first kiss, but Mr. Yankee is fighting me every inch of the way.

You see the problem is, Mr. Yankee and I are from different generations. We only have a 5 year age gap, but it has proved to be a very defining 5 years in terms of pop culture. He loves mid nineties R&B (jodeci, shai and boyz 2 men) where I am more accepting of contemporary music and love my hip hop ('cause you can't mess with the Jigga man, yo!); I'm also a bit more open minded to generational music than he is. I understand the beauty of the greats across all genres like Sinatra, The Eagles and AC/DC, where Mr. Yankee tends to lean towards the jazz greats of long ago (he played trumpet in high school).

So how, you might ask, did we get past this divide?! Say it with me now: COMPROMISE! I had to have Jay Z's "Empire State of Mind," so that meant we also had to have "California Love." I felt that it was important to have music everyone would recognize (read: Michael Buble, Black Eyed Peas, Janet), he felt it was important to have songs his 'peeps' would be able to 'jam' to. I said there was absolutely no way on this earth would I allow Dave Matthews Band, he in turn got to veto numerous choice numbers. The number one thing that has kept us sane is the creation of the top ten. Now of course we want to give our DJ the freedom to do his thing and do it well, but there are just some songs you need to hear when you want to party! And we're still a work in progress, but it has eased the process.

The one thing we need to work on?! The first song. This three minute, 100 year old tradition has caused many an argument in the Yankee household, unfortunately. Hopefully we are able to use our powers of compromise to come up with a solution we can both live with. Stay tuned.

How did you handle the differences between you and your beloved while planning the details?

Type A Organization?! CHECK!

So, I'm a bit compulsive in the organization department. I have a file folder for my bills for each year dating back to 2003 (the year I turned 18 and therefore could officially be audited by the IRS). I am known for making list after list (literally, we're talking to-do lists, grocery lists, alphabetical DVD and CD lists it's a sickness, I know) to keep myself organized. I budget frequently, too. I've made budgets for my friends, for myself and obviously for this wedding. And when it came time to plan this wedding, can you guess what I did?! Oh yeah- get ORGANIZED!!!

screen shot of one of many excel spreadsheets

I started with getting my bridesmaids organized. I have some great ladies planning to stand up for me and I wanted to make sure that they had a good time being in the wedding party. I went to a wedding where I saw the bridesmaids sitting at the table with annoyed faces the whole night and it seemed as if it was a chore for them to be there. I didn't want my girls to feel the same way by the time the wedding came around and what was the best way I could think of to create a fun filled night for all?! Information! I started sending the girls monthly newsletters to inform them of what was new in the planning process and what I expected of them come game time. I tried to make it as light and fun as I could, while thanking them profusely for taking a part in this journey with me.

I hate to admit that for a while there, I was really unsure if I would be prepared enough for this whole wedding thing. I mean sure I could make lists and budgets, but would they actually work?! Would I look like an insane bridezilla in the process?! To get myself in wedding planning shape (and to calm myself down from freaking out), I bought the best wedding organizer I could find... Rather the best organizer that fit my type A personality. It had things like vendor comparisons, questions to ask your vendors, check off lists for things to bring to the rehearsal, guest list manager and a file folder to keep referrals and contracts in!

courtesy of amazon.com

But then I read about all the other awesome brides staying organized using binders that they created themselves. They had tabs for things like contracts, payments, vendor correspondence and cut outs of the things they liked... Now there is a DIY project I can get behind! So I rummaged around the house and found a binder that wasn't being used and made the following tabs: contact lists, payments/receipts, contracts, guest list, misc-ceremony, misc- reception and honeymoon. For me, it seemed to be the perfect remedy. I used some of the preprinted sheets from the planner and added my own personal touches (like excel print outs) to make sure it fit what I needed. I also purchased a small billfold that had 3 holes so that I could keep all of the business cards I collected during the planning.

Then I realized Mr. Yankee would be in on this whole planning thing too and I had to readjust my approach. Mr. Y is all about the internet and spreadsheets. So I brought the planning to him in the form of google docs! I exported an array of excel spreadsheets so that we could both work on wedding related tasks. The excel google doc file was a bit different; this is where the list freak inside of me came out shining. My spreadsheet includes an expense list, song list, guest list, honey do list and a list of table name possibilities (more on that later!). Some may think this is too much for one woman to keep track of, but believe it or not- this is how I have been able to sleep at night. Between the binder, book organizer, excel, google docs and my iphone I feel like I could rule the world. It has helped me stay focused and kept me ahead of the schedule on every wedding task to date (we're done with our Save The Dates, registering, our tasting, wedding website and our invitations have been selected! Yeah, I rock). I get made fun of by those who know and love me most, but I am happy with the results.

How are you staying organized? Have you employed multiple medias to help you stay on task?

Just what to do with favors?!

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Being that I had so much time between engagement and wedding date, I had a lot of time to think about wedding favors. Believe it or not, this was not an easy decision for Mr. Yankee and I to make. We didn't want to be cookie cutter- no coasters, CDs of our favorite songs or bride and groom themed anything (of course for those who pick something like this, rock on! But I do believe everyone has their own taste and something like that just wouldn't work for Mr. Y and I), but we also didn't have a very large budget so it wasn't like we could gift everyone a silk scarf, either.

So what to do?! Well my first thought was to do something that played off of the season we were getting married- fall. It's a beautiful time in california and there are a lot of options we could choose from, as you can see:

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And while those all look lovely, nothing really pulled at my heart strings. Then I thought of what I believed was the most ingenious idea ever- caramel apples! They fit in with the idea of fall perfectly, are a tasty treat and can be displayed in a way that isn't so cheesy. I even looked up and bookmarked some websites that I thought were really reasonably priced like Daffy Apple . I was really excited about this idea for a long time until I realized that the logistics just weren't there. My mom, Mr. Yankee and I were all going to be so busy the morning of the wedding that there would be no one to actually transport those things to the venue and watch after them. And what if people don't like them and we're stuck with a bunch of apples?! Granted, the second scenario wasn't very likely, but we realized that caramel apples just wasn't going to happen.

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But once I had the idea of serving something sweet as a wedding favor, I was hooked. So I jumped on the biggest wedding fad to date- candy buffets! What I had once thought of as silly and over reaching, soon became the idea to end all ideas. Of course we would have a candy buffet! Hello?! I am a huge sugar freak (and Mr. Yankee is known to have his sweets from time to time) and this would be a great way to incorporate our colors throughout the whole wedding (I was really worried about pulling our colors throughout the entire evening at this point). So the search was on for the right supplies- at the right cost- for a candy buffet. I browsed the net for bulk candy dealers, jars and bowls on sale at craft stores and on craigslist and started making a list of all the candy I thought would be nice to include in our buffet. Then I researched just how much candy I should buy; some websites said 1/4lb per guest, others said 1/2lb per guest- roughly speaking over 50lbs of candy. And while that doesn't sound like a lot- it can get quite expensive. And fast. So the idea of a candy buffet, like the one below, was out.

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So it was once again back to the drawing board. What could we do for our guests that would be meaningful and show our appreciation for the time they chose to spend with us celebrating our marriage?! And then it hit me- make a donation! Mr. Yankee and I have both lost loved ones to cancer and it's a terrible disease that affects almost everyone. The disease has hit me especially hard as it has taken all of my grandparents. And it saddens me deeply that my Nana and grandpa Willie never got the chance to meet the greatest man I've ever known. Not to mention The American Cancer society estimated that over 1.4 million* new cases of cancer were going to be diagnosed in 2009 and yet we are no closer to a cure for many types. We felt it was the perfect way to both honor or guests and honor those who could not be with us. Now at the wedding, there will be a menu card for the guests to read that will inform them of what they're eating and that we have made a donation in their honor and we think that it fits perfectly.

What about the brides out there? What was your wedding favor evolution? Did you end up with something completely different than what you originally thought?

*Figure from the American Cancer Society's Cancer Fact and Figures 2009

Do It Yourself.. You mean order it online, right?!

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Say what you will about her, but I happen to think Martha Stewart is a genius. I mean who else could turn popsicle sticks into a tree house?! She is so wonderfully creative and has so many wonderfully creative people working for her, you start to think- "I can do that! Glue, wire, newspaper and a rolling pin? No problem!"

Unless your me. I love crafts. I enjoy watching them being made (so much so that I watch Martha's OnDemand crafts on Comcast multiple times a week). However I am definitely craft challenged! I haven't quite figured out what the problem is- I can follow directions, I know where the craft store is. Somewhere between the dream of craft goddess and the finished product, I get lost. It makes for a sad panda moment in the Yankee household.

So when it came time to craft it up for the wedding, I decided to search online sites like etsy to find the do-it-yourself tasks I wasn't gifted enough to accomplish myself. But then I started having what I call "bride enduced dementia." Bride enduced dementia is defined as a moment where an otherwise normal, sane woman goes into a tizzy over something related to wedding planning that is so silly and unnecessary that only she would notice. Hence, I started to freak out:

"How can my wedding be personal unless I create the perfect invitation suite/out of town bags/welcome signs/pomanders?! Everyone will be judging me for being a dead beat bride!"

Alas, sanity won out and so I decided to scale back my DIY projects (because really, who is going to notice whether or not they have hand made napkins?) and do it Sandra Lee style- semi home made.

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So instead of over 15 DIY projects, I'll now be doing around 5-7. And instead of trying to everything from scratch, I will be enlisting the help of craft stores, online tutorials and creative friends to create the best wedding related crafts to date!

Any DIY brides want to share some words of wisdom?

You want how much? For WHAT?!

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While helping my mom get ideas for her dress for the wedding this weekend, I popped into a bakery. It is technically Mr. Yankee's "task" to find and book our cake vendor, but I figured since I was already standing in front of a perfectly good bakery there would be no harm in checking it out to see what was up. Not to mention baked goods are kinda my weakness. Like- bake 6 dozen cookies in a weekend weakness. So my mom and I poked our heads in and were instantly intoxicated by the sweet smells of sugar, flour and eggs and found ourselves standing in front of the wedding cake area. I browsed at the semi decent display and asked about their consultation process. The cashier was very nice and friendly as she handed me the brochure and told me to ask her if I had any questions. I spent a good amount of time oogling at the different flavors and letting dreams of wedding cake dance around in my head.

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Once my mom and I sat down (with our freshly baked chocolate chip cookies) we decided to finally take a gander at this little piece of paper filled with all the goodness of wedding cake information. It all sounded so tasty and over the top (perfect for sweets!): white sponge cake filled with french pastry cream and the season's freshest fruit, finished in butter cream. Or layers of fudge cake and white sponge cake with praline mousse and roasted hazelnut- yummy! And my personal favorite: white sponge cake layered with dark french vanilla chocolate mousse with fresh raspberries. Ooooh la la- heaven! Just as I was about to buy some samples (because there was no way I was going to wait for a consultation!) I got to the prices.... and my heart skipped a beat. SAY WHAAAA?!?!?!?

I sat down early on in the wedding planning stages and gave myself a rough estimate of what I was willing to spend in certain areas of wedding planning. Having been to a few weddings and being witness to how much cake gets wasted, I gave myself what I thought was a modest, but reasonably budget of $3 a person. HA! Not in Northern California! Try doubling that! I little surprised and unsure of myself, I decided to do a little more research. And believe it or not- $6 a slice is the going rate for cake! For eggs, vanilla extract, flour and sugar!!! What is going on in this world!?! I had a brief moment of insanity thinking I would just bake it myself, but alas sanity has prevailed and have taken me back to the drawing board.

What are some of your back ups to the wedding cake?