The Honeymooners

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The honeymoon... as traditional and America as Apple Pie. And something that was very important to me when figuring out the wedding budget. Our budget had to include our honeymoon because there was no way I was going to delay it. As you can guess, the honeymoon has been a subject of much discussion and strategy as Mr. Yankee and I tried to decide what we could afford and where we really wanted to go. My bucket list includes places all over Europe, United States and Canada; Mr. Yankee- well, lets just say that I am the travel planner in this partnership. Mr. Yankee and I set up some basic ground rules for our honeymoon:

1. Within our measely budget
2. A place that we both had never been before
3. No beaches! (getting married in October pretty much took care of no beaches with everywhere being in the middle of hurricane season and Mr. Y and I having already been to Hawaii)

Originally the idea was to go to Disneyworld; it's within the United States, would be a great, fun, giddy vacation and would be away from a beach- perfect! I also liked that Disneyworld had a great number of different activities. We could horseback riding or parasailing if we truly desired. Plus, me and disney?! Sign me up! I got to work pricing the trip and was a little shocked at how much a 10 day trip to Disneyworld was going to cost.

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While I was okay with going over our budget for our honeymoon, I wanted to make sure I did it for the right vacation. So it was back to the drawing board- if I was going to pay almost 5000 for a Disneyworld vacation, could I do the same for a European honeymoon too?!

I started asking around at work for anyone who knew a European travel agent. After a couple of days, I was given a name of a travel agent who specialized in European vacations. At this point, I let Mr. Yankee take point. I tend to get really excited when it comes to planning a vacation and I wanted to keep my game face on to get the best deal possible; this is where Mr. Y comes in. He is very even tempered and doesn't get excited over much outside of new video games, so I knew he would do fine. Shortly after Mr. Yankee shot off an email, we had shiny brochures in the mail from Brendan Vacations that described both guided and independent vacations. I would be lying if I said I didn't immediately swoon; I'm such a sucker for a shiny brochure.

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Mr. Yankee proceeded to set up a time to meet and discuss details for our desired vacation and, after a small delay due to unforseen circumstances, we met with Irma (our new travel agent) to map things out. And so where, you might ask, did we decide to go?!

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ITALY!!! Or to be more specific, we'll be seeing the magnificent cities of Venice, Florence and Rome. It will be 9 days of history, food and pictures and I am so beyond excited about it!!! Our travel agent is so awesome that she was able to get our air, hotels (which all come with a free continental breakfast every morning) and airport transfers for under $5,000!!!! The only thing left to purchase is train tickets (to get from city to city) which she will purchase for us the month before the wedding. And the best part?! It's EUROPE! I have dreamed of going to Europe my entire life and now I will get to see these amazing historical cities as I start my new life with my husband.

How did you decide on your honeymoon?! How do you prepare and plan your vacations?!

Table names and table games...

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Something that I have struggled with is tables. When Mr. Yankee and I got engaged one of the things I knew immediately was that I wanted to have semi-assigned seating. Meaning that while I wasn't going to mark every chair with a name, I wanted people who knew each other to have the opportunity to sit together. There are some places where meeting new people can be really fun and interesting- a wedding isn't one of them.

Since I knew I wanted semi-assigned seating I had to think of how I was going to arrange it. I didn't want to do your typical table numbers. Again my love of weddingbee and theknot clouded my otherwise sane judgement and I just had to have unique table names. There inlies the problem- just what should I choose?!

I searched my normal sites for ideas and started churning some in my head. I am a big Disney fan (duh) and Mr. Yankee proposed there, so I started thinking of Disney themed tables. I came up with all sorts of ideas: disney couples with a history of their love, disney villains (they're misunderstood!), pictures of Mr. Yankee and I in front of different attractions and disney movies. The problem in going with Disney is that it is fine line between creative and cheesy. The next thing I thought of was the word 'love' in different languages, but I felt that was a bit cheesy and didn't fit Mr. Yankee and I just right. Where was my creative juices?!

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My current idea is to name our tables after the different places we plan to visit when we are on our honeymoon. Find a really beautiful picture and jot down some history (because I am all about little trivia ice breakers) about the locale and call it a day. The only problem with that is explaining how we came up with our table names. I realize that a lot of people probably won't care, but I know I will care and will be worried about people understanding our theme. Silly, no?!

How about the other brides out there?! How did you come up with your seating arrangement?!

When all else fails, dust yourself off and try again

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Isn't she beautiful?! I miss her all the time. And for those of you who know me- you knew Aaliyah was going to make an appearance in my blog somewhere!

I know I've been absent from this blog and for the three of you who read this- I am sorry. I've had some things happen within the last few weeks that have sort of killed my blog writing bug. First was my post on my father; it was an extremely hard post to write and when I was done I found myself having to go through those emotions all over again. And it wasn't pretty.

And I applied for 'bee-dom, only to be rejected. I realize I still have a ton of time before the wedding, but of course I was super duper excited and applied as soon as there were open spots. Have you seen their new sea creatures monikers?! Like O-M-G!! Alas, I was not accepted and so that put a cramp in my style.

And last, but certainly not least there has been some internal drama with the wedding party. I haven't discussed our wedding party much yet and I will get to them in due time. But needless to say someone made a commitment and has since backed out of said commitment while hoping everything will be peaches and cream. Leaving a very sad and disappointed Ms. Yankee in the dust.

.. However that is all over! And I will tell you why. Tonight I was catching up on my blog reading and I came across some posts over at Weddingbee that were really inspirational. It started out with Miss Hamster's post on how she became a 'bee. And of course that led to me reading about how other bloggers became bees and one thing remained current- do it for you. Blog for you. While yes, as a weddingbee blogger you will be writing for an audience it is important to remember to write for yourself and be yourself. And I think I let too many people get inside of my head about this blog and have punished it because of them- no more.

I want to do some things with this blog to make it a little more pretty and lot more me. The only issue is I am a little html/design challenged. My good friend Kendall gave me a good site to look for new layouts and so I may use one of those. Or I may try to get real creative and do my own thing. Either way, I am back. And I am more jazzed than ever.

The problem with long engagements...

... is that you change your mind. One month it's all about tulips and the next you want ferns. In the spring you want chocolate cake, in the fall it's cheesecake. Or one minute you really like your wedding dress and the next, you aren't so sure.

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You heard me right. I am having wedding dress doubt. I don't know if it is just a prolonged sense of buyers remorse (I did the same thing when I bought my car. A combination of sticker shock and 'I didn't really need a new car' guilt) or if my intuition is really trying to tell me something. Everyone loves the dress and the dress is already paid for and I don't have it in the budget to just go out and purchase another dress... but for whatever reason it is tugging at me and I have even started looking for used wedding dresses online to see if maybe I can throw another 200 dollars and be done with it. Don't get me wrong- I like my dress. And when I purchased it I felt like that was as excited about a dress as I was going to get. But I have this nagging sensation in the pit of my stomach that it's not the best dress for me.

Of course there are body issues associated with it as well. I don't feel like I look enough like a bride. I don't have the flat stomach, the toned shoulders, buffed arms and tanned physique you see in all the bridal magazines. I'm- in terms of the wedding industry- a plus sized bride. I don't like the term "plus sized" because I don't particularly care for the connotation of what it means. I am by no means skinny, but I never have been. So when I found a dress that I could fit into and it didn't make me feel like a stuffed mushroom, I went for it. And perhaps I went for it too soon?!

I haven't made any final decisions, so I won't show my dress until I do. But what about the other brides out there?! Did you have post wedding dress stress?! Was it just buyers remorse or was it something real?

Father of the Bride... Eh, not really.

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I'm going to discuss a topic that is a little... touchy to say the least. It is something I have debated about whether or not to share, but I know if I am going through it than at least one other bride out there is going through it and if I can help her out, then.. well that's what this is all about. If you haven't guessed already, I'll give you a hint- I so don't have Steve Martin as my dad.

Weddings are a combination of the happiest and most stressful times in a brides life. I am so excited and happy to have found someone who I can spend and build my life with and so stressed and worried about all of the family drama to come- all at the same time. And I am also a little sad, too. Because I know my father won't be there for me on my wedding day like so many other brides out there. And not because he is no longer living, but because he has a sickness. And it's called alcoholism. It has prevented him from being apart of my life in any real way for the past fifteen years and it will prevent him from watching his first born daughter start her life with a man who is to be cherished. And though I tell people who ask that it doesn't bother me, deep down inside, I'm hurt.

My parents got divorced when I was 5 and I used to be a big daddy's girl. My father was my hero and I would defend him against anyone. I got into fights with my mom, my grandparents, anyone who would speak an ill word about him- even though I knew he wasn't like most dads. Years passed and eventually my father moved on an got remarried and had other children. These new children took first place in his heart and our relationship suffered because of it. Since then my father has missed parent teacher conferences, school plays, graduations and other big moments like me becomming a homeowner. When I got engaged like most brides the first thing I did was reach for my phone. I called everyone- including my father. Foolishly I thought that my getting married would make him realize the things he has missed and would make him try to get involved. Sadly, I was wrong.

He forgot Mr. Yankees' name 5 minutes after I told him and sighed defeatedly when I told him our potential time frame (20 months into the future!). He changed the dynamic of me being engaged- it wasn't about me finding a great man, but about him having to come up with money (which I never asked for). I hung up the phone upset with my stomach in knots. How did my father take the happiest moment in my life and twist it around to be about him?! Oh, thats right. That's what alcoholics do.

Since that phone call, I have had limited contact with him. My mother keeps asking if I am going to include him in the wedding and I have to tell her repeatedly no. He made his decisions and while I understand it is a disease, I know there are thousands of people who are recovering from it everyday. He chooses to stay an alcoholic, therefore he chooses to stay out of my life. One of the big decisions I had to make due my fathers absence was who was going to walk me down the aisle. I am all for independent women who are strong and brave enough to walk themselves down the aisle, but I know myself and I will be freaking out right before that walk and will need someone to guide me. My first thought?! My bestest guy friend in the whole world, Sevan.

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I've been friends with those two boys for over 6 years and I love them dearly. And Sevan has always been my center of calm. He is never afraid to call me out of my bull, is there whenever I need him and I never have to worry about him PMSing- a real plus in my book. I look at Sevan as the brother I never had and I am thankful every day that I met someone as genuine and special as him. When I asked him to be apart of the biggest day of my life he responded with his usual, "sure" and made sure I was aware that he was going to be making red sox jokes and threatening to trip me down the aisle. Perfect.

Then my mom informed me that she wanted to walk me down the aisle. Ahh! What was I going to do?! I understood where my mom was coming from- she raised me practically on her own and deserved to have that moment, but I really needed someone who was going to make sure I didn't cry all over the place and force me down that aisle (and I had already asked Sevan)! So I came up with a compromise- they both can help me! So Sevan will be officially titled 'Bridal Escort' while my mom will keep her title and still get to walk me down the aisle.

And although it hurts to know my dad wont be there, I think I have a pretty strong support system in terms of friends and family and I know it will be okay.

Any brides out there have difficult family situations?!

Can I get a WOW?!

This was not a planned post, but I had an amazing experience today that I had to share with all of you. I needed to get my picture taken for my passport and was looking to do it on my lunch hour. Being the diligent customer that I am, I called my local UPS Store and verified that there was someone there able and willing to take my photo. On my lunch, I grabbed my purse and drove over and after standing in the middle of the store for a few minutes, an associate asks if they can help me. Not how, but if. I mention that I need my passport photo taken.
"It's broken."
"I just called 20 minutes ago to double check."
"Well, it's been broken since last night."
"I talked to a gentleman?!"
"Oh. He doesn't know it's broken."
Thanks, genius. I figured that out. So after arguing with me about whether or not the machine even worked, I got a half hearted sorry and was told to go elsewhere. Annoyed and realizing I didn't have all day and still needed to grab lunch, I drove down to my local Wolf Camera. I was a little grouchy and visibly flustered when the associate behind the counter asked what he could do for me. I told him I needed my passport photo and the experience of the next 8 minutes completely made my day.
"Great. I'll meet you in the photo area." (points to where I need to go)
"I can't smile, right?!"
"Well, you can smirk, but they really prefer you not to smile... I'm going to take three photos and then we'll review for the best one, okay?!"
"Sure."
After taking my photo and making me feel better about them looking HORRIBLE, he proceeded to ring me up.
"Are you going anywhere soon?"
"Yeah, ______ (you'll have to wait and see!) in October for my honeymoon."
Visibly happy and excited, "That's great. Congratulations! That sounds like so much fun. And you are so smart to be getting everything done in advance. Passports can take a couple of months."
We had some small talk where he told me about other customers who waited until the last minute and again, congratulated me on my engagement and wished me a great trip. He also said how he was looking forward to helping me in the future. And I believed him. This young man literally made my day. I came in so annoyed and frustrated and left completely satisfied. I am in an industry of customer interaction and so I am mindful of both how I act and how I am treated when I go into a business looking to spend money. I paid more for my photo at Wolf than I would at the UPS store, but the associate totally made up for the cost- I didn't mind paying for the excellent service.
And of course, this got me thinking about wedding planning and the customer service I have experienced thus far. I remember going to a bridal expo (I think every bride should go to one. Just to experience it. Some hate it, some love it, but all should experience it) where I gathered information and samples from the vendors across the venue. I made little notes to myself on the vendors I liked and disliked and didn't think of them again until it was time to start selecting a particular vendor. One of the things I have struggled with lately is wedding cake and one of my friends (who is also a bride in waiting and author of ring around the roses) suggested the lady she is using and the price range. I was so excited; until I checked her website and saw her picture. I remembered her from the wedding expo and it was not a friendly image; she was cold, rude and not engaging. I remembered thinking 'I will NOT be using her for my wedding cake.' And so even though her prices are right, I won't even bother to call her. And I'm sure she is a pleasant woman- and I hope my friend has a fabulous experience with her. But first impressions and overall customer experience go a long way. Especially in an overpriced industry like weddings.
I have to say- I have some pretty awesome vendors who are attentive, respectful and all around rock in the service area. I can send them the most random emails and they always respond with care- realizing that though this may be my 40th email on the color of dahlia's we'll be using, it is my wedding and it's a very important time in a persons life. They may not be the least expensive in the area, but to me they are worth every penny. So when things go a little over budget, I don't mind- their customer service skills more than makes up for the extra $50.
So in closing, how have the brides out there been treated thus far?! Have any amazing (or horror) stories about customer service?

They're just going to get tossed anyway... our invitation evolution

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Seriously- is there anything better than paper?! After getting engaged, one of my first obsessions was with invitations. I luuuuuuurved them! They were so pretty. Bright, sparkly paper, whimsical fonts, embellished designs?! Swoon! And so I did what any other self respecting engaged woman does- I googled invitations. LOTS of invitations. And there has been an evolution of invitations, to say the least. First, I had to have a Disney themed invite. I didn't care if it was pocketfold, trifold or on one sheet of embossed paper. It just had. to. be. DISNEY! And so these invitations quickly took the lead:

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They were everything I wanted. They were simple- not too 'girly' and not overt with the Disney-ness (like no Cinderella sitting in a castle, inyourfacetypedisney, disney-ness). Even better- they came in my wedding color! I quickly proceeded to get an estimate of roughly 75 invitations, response cards and matching envelopes. I nearly doubled over when I saw the price. I was looking at a price tag of almost $500! That is over $6 an invitation (not including shipping). It was around this time that the wonderfully talented authors over at weddingbee posted a post about this online store called etsy. It was a fabulous place for all things wedding, they said. They have magnificent products at amazing prices; score! So I clicked my way onto etsy and found these beautiful disney themed invites:

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I was in love with these invites from the start. I fell into the pocketfold craze that seems to be brewing around these parts and just HAD to have them. Add to that the totally awesome disney font and mickey ears?! Um, yes please! But at over $4 an invitation I was unsure of just how much I needed to have disney pocketfolds. I hadn't completely banned it from my list, but I was keeping myself open to other options. Then I decided, "Hey! I can do my own pocketfolds, right?! All it takes is some paper (okay, a lot of paper), scissors, glue and some great friends to come over and help out, right?! I mean the 'bees made it look so easy! Then I started to read the tutorials and began to quiver... Measuring? Special tools like a bone folder?! Ayy! So NOT for this bride to be. Okay, back to the drawing board.

A couple of weeks ago, Mr. Yankee and I decided to go peruse the local stationary stores to see if there was anything that struck our fancy. We went to three stores and browsed countless binders of invitations. Our choices are:

Number One:

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Number Two:
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Number Three:
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Stay tuned to see which one we picked!