I forgot to do WHAT?!

Okay.. I am officially insane. That is the only plausable reason that for the first time in 7 years of paying my own bills that I forgot.. FORGOT to pay my car payment. Yeah- car payment. I woke up this morning in a cold sweat asking myself over and over again 'Did I pay my car payment?!' Needless to say I hobbled down the stairs, realized my error and made the prompt payment.

And how.. just how did a type A, pay everything early, e alerts for everything bank employee forget to pay their bills?! Because I spent my weekend worrying about this:

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Wedding crafts were on my mind big time this weekend. I had a mini freak out when I realized just how close we were getting to the wedding and the lack of progress that we were making with the wedding. My solution?! An impromptu visit to the local craft store (where I had no idea what I was doing) with a list in hand, hoping to get in and out in under an hour. Mr. Yankee and I went through aisle after aisle, picking up this and that and while Mr. Yankee tried to talk me out of taking too much on, I kept expanding the list of things I wanted to do or had to have. Yeah- when this bug they call a wedding bites, it bites hard.

Now that the crafts are actually inside my four walls I feel a little bit better. Add to that our second meeting with the florist tonight and I feel like we're back on track in terms of weddingdom.

Has planning an event made you crazy?!

Okay, time to get serious...

A week from today will be the 100 day mark till "we do." Holy moly!! What does that mean, exactly?! A few things, actually:

• It's account draining time. There will now be more money coming out of our wedding account then going in with things like catering bills, floral deposits and photography payments.
• I actually have to turn my ideas into concrete decor. A lot more crafting and a lot less inspiration photo collecting. It's weird, actually. I am a little afraid of how my ideas are going to turn out. I just don't know if everything that is in my head will translate into pretty decor. We'll see, right?!
• Vendor meetings. Now is the time we start meeting and remeeting- going over ideas, confirming details and going through all the little nuances that will make our wedding day come to life.
• No more thumb twiddling. I officially have something wedding related to do every week from now until the wedding. I don't mind this- I like the idea of getting a little bit done each week so that when it comes to wedding week, I'll be sitting pretty.

On the docket this weekend?! Return a dress (because in my bridal dumbness I bought 2 dresses thinking I needed a dress for both the rehearsal and bridal shower, only to realize I needed only 1), purchase shoes for rehearsal dinner, make a craft store run to Michaels to start the DIY projects I've been dragging my feet and attend a wedding workshop at Pottery Barn on Sunday morning.

How did we get so close so fast?!

A Bride's Obsession: Paper

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I've written in the past about my quick developing obsession with paper here. I thought I had made the decision and that everything was done. Boy was I wrong. First, a little more back story: 

I would classify my relationship with paper pre-enagement as a modest appreciation. I scrapbooked from time to time and therefore was aware of the all the different types and shapes and weights of paper, but never really had much use for them outside of my current craft of the day.

Then Mr. Yankee proposed. And it was on. On like donkey kong. My first obsession?! Invitations, of course. Then I read about Save the Dates and realized that I had to have those too! I wanted to set the tone for the rest of the stationary that was sure to be coming down the pike. They had to be fresh, colorful and above all- cute. Yeah, you heard me- I wanted to make sure our Save the Dates were cute. Sue me. I scoured the internet for ideas on how to make the perfect STD and combined my idea with my love of a good deal and ordered them through VistaPrint. 100 Save the Dates later, I thought my paper obsession had been squelched. Oh how foolish I was.

I soon became obsessed with finding the right invitations. I hopped onto the bridal wagon and was in love with pocketfolds and was so sad that there was no way to fit them in our paper budget. Resolved to "get over it" and find something that was just as pretty but more cost effective, I dragged Mr. Yankee to numerous stationary stores to find the invitation suite. Let me just say this- I have really expensive taste. Every suite I liked was upwards of $700-1000. Say it with me: OUCH. There was no way I could argue spending a thousand dollars on something that will end up in a lot of garbage cans.

I thought we were saved when Mr. Yankee and I agreed on a funky design (as hinted about here). But when we went back to finalize everything and place the order I just.couldn't.do.it. I didn't really like them. Not the way I felt I was supposed to. So the hunt was on, yet again.

Stay tuned for the wrap up of this bridal obsession.

The Family Factor...

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I have been thinking a lot about family recently. I am not normally a sentimental person, but I think the wedding has brought it out in me. Mr. Yankee just got back from doing the Mud Run in Camp Pendleton where he stayed with his Aunt and Uncle. And as he was telling me different antecdotes about his visit I felt this surge in my chest. These are great people who are apart of a wonderful family- they have a strong bond with each other and it shows whenever stories are shared.

I've posted about my not so wonderful relationship with my father before- and I had pretty much made up my mind months ago that he would not be a part of this very special moment in my life. There were numerous factors influencing my decision: I knew that if he was there I would be worried about what he was doing rather than focusing on what really matters- Mr. Yankee and I coming together as one unit. I would also worry about what he would do or say- alcoholics are famous for saying inappropriate things at all the right times. And a lot of my friends (pretty much all of them except for 1 or 2) have never met my father and I just didn't think a wedding was an appropriate venue.

I also worry about FMIL & FFIL Yankee- they are such sweet and genuine people and I would be so embarassed if my father did something stupid. I am the typical adult child of an alcoholic and feel responsible for my father's actions and feel like his actions somehow would be a reflection of me and who I am.

.. But my main reason for being so torn on this issue with my father is because my father has other children. Other children whom I love very much and who I want there on that day. I may not see them very often or get to talk to them every day, but they are my family- and being that I don't have a very big one, I would like to everyone there. At what cost, though, is the question. Do I risk being embarassed, stressed and worried about what my father would do?!

Mr. Yankee is wonderful in the sense that he supports me no matter what. He realizes that this is a very sticky situation for me and I am so grateful that he doesn't push one way or the other. He is always a great sounding board and gives advice only when solicited- one of the many thngs I love about him.

There is still some time and I am sure this will be a topic that weighs heavily on my mind no matter what decision I make. Any advice out there?!

Why do you want to get married?!

Simple enough question, right?! But believe it or not- I have never sat down to really formulate an answer to this question. Not in the concrete, literal sense. I know what Mr. Yankee and I's relationship means to me in my heart, but I had never really wrapped my brain around it until I was reading my favorite wedding planning blog, Weddingbee. Mrs. Pencils, as she is now referred, is in the middle of recapping her wedding to all of us weddingbee hounds out there and her most recent post discussed the exchange of vows and it struck me that this very simple question was not something that I had obsessed over.

Instead I have been busy thinking of Mr. Yankee and I's future: where we'll be living, future vacations we'll be taking and future career goals. I have also been busy thinking of bridesmaids dresses, where we'll be having our rehearsal dinner and how to word our invitations. It made me a little sad that I this was not fully prepared to articulate an answer to this question. And with our first appointment with our officiant coming this weekend, I figured I would get a head start on an answer to a seemingly easy question.

So why do I want to marry Mr. Yankee?!

I never have a bad time when we are together. Every adventure we take- even if I am stressed out to the max, Mr. Yankee can always make it better.
He is always happy to see and be around me. Even when I am as sick as a dog or have had a shitty day at work. He is attentive, affectionate and loving without being needy or clingy.
He is solid; mentally, emotionally- I know I can depend on him and that is something that has been severely lacking my entire life. I have never really felt like I could fully depend on anyone and felt like I always had to be on guard- I know that with Mr. Yankee I am safe. He is there.
I truly believe that we are ying and yang- the perfect balance for each other. Where I get hot and bothered over someone cutting me off, Mr. Y just goes with the flow. Where he rides by the seat of his pants, I plan every last detail.
His family. I have a very small nuclear family and an even smaller extended family- all spread through out the country. I never get to see them, never grew up with them in my daily life and therefore are not very close with many of them. Mr. Yankee's family, however, is amazing. I thank my lucky stars every day that I get to be a part of this huge, connected, loving family. I feel as if his mom is my mom, his aunts and uncles are mine too and that his cousins- apart from being totally awesome- are my family too.
I know that if the decision is ever made to have children, Mr. Yankee will be an amazing father. I know that partly by looking at Mr. Y's father- Mr. Yankee is very much like his father: reserved, intelligent, caring, kind and solid. They don't feel the need to be the center of attention but are very observant of every situation they find themselves in. And they both are dedicated to family- Mr. Yankee worries all the time about how he is going to care for his parents (who thankfully still in excellent health) and future father in law Yankee visits his mom every week. And it is this dedication to family that makes me so positive that if children were ever apart of our life together Mr. Yankee would do an excellent job.

..This was a total goo fest and for that I apologize. But hopefully this helps other brides out there stop and realize that a wedding is just a really expensive dinner party. And that it's the marraige that will last- not the party favors.

Just how do you say Thank You?

According to my weddingwire calendar, it is time for me to start shopping for my bridesmaids gifts. I have been thinking about it for a while now, trying to make mental notes of just what each girl would like and just how the hell I would gather everything and present it to my fabulous women.

I was also a little nervous because our budget is kind of small. I wanted to spend a little more than what was allotted for in the budget and I am keeping my fingers crossed that we find a few extra bucks somewhere. Luckily, I had someone drop out of the wedding party on my side- so I can spend a bit more on each beautiful lady. I've scoured weddingbee, theknot and projectwedding hoping that I would get enough inspiration and ideas to get started on these puppies, but I never imagined it would be so hard. I love the women that will be standing up with me and wedding day. How do I translate that love into the perfect gift?!

If you're in my wedding party- be gone! This is not for your eyes. I am serious- go away.