Where's Emily Post when you need her?!

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Mr. Yankee and I received our first wedding gift last night. While extremely exciting and giddy-ness enducing, it left us wondering what exactly we were supposed to do. Do we open the gift right away and send a thank you note?! Do we open it right away and send a thank you note after the wedding? Or do we wait until after the wedding to do both?! The only thing I was absolutely sure on was that we were not to actually use the item until after the wedding. So we paced around the large box from Macys... trying to decide whether to tear into the box or place it in our attic until after the wedding. I played like it was 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and started phoning friends. I have some friends who have had weddings recently in their family and would know exactly what to do.... ergh- or so I thought.

"Don't open it. You're supposed to wait until after the wedding and then open everything and send out your thank you cards."

"Open it, but don't use it and send a thank you card after the wedding."

"Open it and send a thank you card within two weeks of opening. But wait until after the wedding to use it."

Those were the three answers I got. Now Mr. Y and I did not want to open the box to check out the loot- we could have checked our registry to find out what we got. Our main concern was sending off a thank you (yes we got your gift) card so that the sender could sleep at night. So Mr. Y and I opted for the third option and opened the box. And ooh! How exciting.... For Mr. Yankee. He got his knife set; of course as soon as he realized it was a knife set he asked when we could use it. Boys- they only listen to a certain point.

personal photo (our first present- yay!)

But this got me thinking about all the other etiquette related things that are bound to come up over the next 8 months. How do we word the invitations? How do we address them? Who dances first- mother and son or father and daughter? Is Mr. Yankee supposed to thank certain people during his toast at the reception? In a certain order? How do we handle monetary gifts given at the wedding?

So many questions dancing around in my head- it might just explode!! How did you handle all the little pieces of etiquette that popped up over your planning? Any advice for peaceful resolutions?